We can cut our bodies free...

Summer.

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 02:16:06 GMT

Oh, thank the lord for summer. Rest and relaxation are beautiful things. The freedom of summer days is one of the best gifts that could ever be received. Nothing compares to sunburns and juice while reading in the yard. What else can I possibly say? This is the best time of the year, and that's all there is to it.

This summer might even surpass the greatness of last summer. And that's a lot.

"These are times that can't be weathered and we have never been back there since then."

Beautiful days...

Wed, 30 May 2007 20:37:39 GMT

Man, people really need to learn how to forgive and forget. Not hold grudges. Be happy with what they have. Life is too short to dwell on those things. They can't be changed. Why not look to the future and all of the things that haven't even happened yet? There is so much to find there. That is the reason why I never stay mad at people for long. Ever.

Today I was walking across my kitchen and I found half of a post-it with my writing on it. I picked it up to read it (I always write little notes and reminders and things on post-its) and it said, "We're all just part of the bigger picture. What we do and what we don't do infinitely effects everything else."

Nearly summer...

Wed, 30 May 2007 01:11:56 GMT

I
want
nothing
more
than
to
be
part
of
the
stars.

Forever.

Beauty in its finest form.

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 23:11:03 GMT

Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find!

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 01:22:39 GMT

Prom was a lot of fun. I have no complaints about it. It was a drama-free night for me and I danced like it was going out of style.

Anyway...
I was reading through this, and I realize that most of the stuff I write is sad stuff. For that, I apologize, because I hate it. So I'll keep that to a bare minimum from now on and write about more interesting things, such as how amazing the weather is going to be this week. I'm excited for all the sunshine! I love to feel it on my skin, in my hair.

Yay!

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten...

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 11:15:45 GMT

Prom is tonight and it's funny because my three best friends are getting ready together and I'm getting ready by myself at my grandma's house. Oh well.

It's pouring outside like you wouldn't believe. It's been really nice and sunny for the past few days. Short, skirt, t-shirt and flip-flop weather to the nth degree. And now it's raining. And I am going to be cold.

Hopefully it will let up by tonight!

God.

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 04:18:01 GMT

"Do you have any feelings on the matter? Or of your own?"
It's killing me. It's killing me. It's killing me.
"No."

I'm tired of pretending it doesn't hurt.
I'm tired of pretending it doesn't matter.
I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay, fine, wonderful.
Like nothing's wrong.

You know...

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 20:40:36 GMT

There's really no need to yell.
But it seems like that's the only thing that really goes on here.
Someone is always yelling.
It's pointless.

My friends...

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 20:39:19 GMT

...are ridiculous.
Completely.

They give me attitude I did not ask for and do not deserve.
They leave me out of things.
They think that just because they have their licenses they are God's gift to creation and can be rude to me.
I hate how I can't even talk to them about it.
They'd probably tell me I have no right to feel that way.

On a slightly happier note...
It's a beautiful day out. One of the nicest ones we've had in a while.

I feel pondersome today.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 20:30:43 GMT

Why is it that every single person I meet is pessimistic? Why can't there be more optimism in the world?

What's so bad with looking on the bright side of things?

Mmhmm.

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 20:38:50 GMT

I couldn't agree more.

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 22:24:44 GMT

If only, if only...

I was thinking.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 22:43:06 GMT

It might not have lasted, and we might have moved too fast. But there was this connection between us. I felt it. And I know he felt it, too. People can criticize me all they want about it. My friends can talk about it behind my back. But it was there. It was real. I don't regret it for one second. And that's all that matters.

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 00:55:28 GMT

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
Rose Kennedy

True that.

In other news... I don't know. I have nothing particularly insightful to say because I'm awfully, horribly sick. Of course, it's only a cold. But a cold for me is like the flu every single time I get one.
Actually, maybe I'll post a bit of poetry. I don't like sharing my poetry, but I like this one. It's kind of cute.

Let's get away
just you and I
put our running shoes on
and take to the sky
We'll speed down the highways
no clue where to go
past sandy coastlines
and mountains of snow
We'll swim the great oceans
and fare stormy seas
we'll stand upon hilltops
to feel a warm summer breeze
We'll run through green fields
and collapse on the ground
We'll lay there forever
we'll never be found
We'll kiss in the moonlight
and dance under stars
We'll never be tamed
and these times will be ours
If we run away now
we won't notice the cold
we'll achieve greatness together
it'll never get old.

Akgjiksjihk.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:55:54 GMT

I just want to run as far as my legs will take me!

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 00:47:36 GMT

And these nights I get high just from breathing.
When I lie here with you, I'm sure that I'm real.
Like that firework over the freeway,
I could stay here all day but that's not how you feel.

...

And what did I do that you can't seem to want me?
And why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes?
And where can I go that your pictures won't haunt me?
What makes it so easy for you to be walking by?

First song we ever slowdanced to.
In my kitchen.
Who knew that it would come true?
Tonight... I really miss him.
I really, really do.

You say I'm gonna learn...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 23:00:30 GMT

Today was a very unstressful day. I like those. I like being outside and walking when it looks like it's going to rain. Everything is so still and beautiful.

I like the peacefulness of spring days.

<3.

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:59:16 GMT

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Just some thoughts.

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 22:02:55 GMT

Some days I really just want to run away. Not because I hate it here, or because I want to get away from the people. Not because school is overwhelming or I'm sick of being at home. I love my family. But sometimes, I just need some time alone. Just some time to escape and be FREE. Free to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Free to lay in a field full of flowers and feel the breeze in my hair. Free to go to the beach and stick my feet in the ocean. That's all I want a car for. That's the only reason. If it weren't for the sole reason of just getting away for a little while every now and again, where no one knows where I am, I would not bother getting my license. I'd rather walk everywhere anyway, but it would be nice.

Also, I'm thinking about going to college here:

I have one reason for this and one reason only.

Yes.

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 17:50:05 GMT

But I can hear the sound of my own echo coming back alone...

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 02:35:52 GMT

AND SCREAM
Shred your lungs, I need to hear you louder now.
AND SING
As if you'll never sing again.
And when the morning comes and your throat is sore
You'll face the day like you did before
With a smile on in the end.

It helps not seeing him in school.
I didn't see him at all today, actually.
I think I thought about him once.
But it still doesn't change the fact that I miss him.
MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT. MY HEART IS AN IDIOT.

...I could go on.

The story of my life?

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 20:49:53 GMT

We started playing in the rain
I'm who I am -- I'll never change
And I hope lightning strikes me down
I'll show you and this whole town
That I'm one in a million
And never wanted to fit in any place
Except your heart
But we grew apart
Now rainy days are all I have
And I keep dreaming in the past
Will you keep me awake?
No more I can take
And I'm still breathing.
Keep me breathing, keep me breathing.

It's been almost six months. What is wrong with me?

...

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 02:33:46 GMT

Today it finally felt like spring.
Today I realized that driving really isn't so hard.
Today I discovered that I might be the biggest idiot I know.
Today I found out that I always seem to hurt the people I care about the most without even meaning to.
Today I slept for five hours and didn't make the most of the good weather like I wanted to.
Today I didn't read as much as I should have.

I could go on.

Remember when I used to be your everything?

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 01:08:47 GMT

Oh my God, I can almost smell the fresh, early spring air of the day we had that whipped cream fight. I can almost feel the cool dirt of his backyard beneath my feet, the whipped cream down my back; in my hair. It was sticky. It was everywhere. Two whole cans of whipped cream -- completely emptied by the time we were done with them. We were a disaster. But we were a beautiful disaster; a beautiful MESS.

--From my journal. Which is actually a notebook.

One more thing.

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:08:59 GMT

"I wish things hadn't changed 2 years and 2½ months ago. Time could have stopped, and I would have been happy... forever."

I'm sorry.